20th Birthday Prayer

Yesterday was my 20th birthday! I can't believe I have left my teens behind! I remember how excited I was to turn 13 - to turn the page into a new chapter of life. It felt very grown up ;-) And now, I'm entering my 20's! Very exciting =D

I will share photos of my birthday, but first I want to share a prayer that I journalled yesterday. To be honest, part of yesterday was a struggle for me. This was my first birthday away from family and close friends, and that was pretty tough. I cried a few tears, but as I began to question the Lord and ask Him for comfort, He just began to speak to my heart. I want to share this with you today.

"I am here because You called me
Not to love less
But to love more
Not to throw away
But to hold on more dear

"Not to discount

But to appreciate more

Not to give up

But to keep, in a different way

Not to lose

But to gain

"And though it feels like my heart may break
Can I hold on to You?
Can You be my family?
Can You be my friends?
Can you have a party for me and with me, in my heart?

"Can you wipe away my tears

When there is no one else to?

Can You be my voice when I [literally] have none?

Can You shine through a smile; a touch?

Can I rest in Your arms all the while? -

as I wait on You?

"In my heart, I know You can

In my heart, I know You will

But my heart longs for home...

"Maybe I'm a little unsure where my home is now
Where it will be
In my heart I feel that my home cannot be a place
Perhaps not even people
Because I will move - I know I will
And times change
People grow
Lives fade

 

"Now I begin to realize why my FIRST love has to be You

Because You remain

You never change - never grow, never diminish -

except perhaps in my own human eyes

You live on in my heart, no matter where I am or who I am with

  

"Please be my Home, beginning today
This day that I exit my teens
Cry for my family and friends and home
Laugh with new friends
And bask in You

"Thank You for this vision

Of why You are my Home."

-dedicated to all the people in these pictures and many more... you are loved!-

~Rachel